ScarJo Doesn’t Understand Why Dudes Have Nips

February 3, 2009 / Posted by:

My nipples dry barfed after reading this shit. Dudes have nipples for so many reasons. I couldn’t even write all the reasons on ScarJo’s big ass chichis. That’s how many reasons there are. Dumb bitch ScarJo can’t think of one.

While promoting He’s Just Not Into This Movie, ScarJo told the Chicago-Sun Times (via ShowbizSpy), “The one thing I don’t understand about men is nipples. I don’t know if there is one aspect of men that I don’t understand other than why they have nipples. Honestly, why? I guess it has something to do with the X chromosome. What is the function of the male nipple? Maybe we all start as androgynous creatures and then they become men?

Who the fuck says that?! I mean, when you’re riding a dick you need something to do! You don’t want to kiss the dude, because that just ruins the moment. So you pinch at his nipples, flick at them a little and maybe rub on that shit. They are like skin joysticks to keep you entertained! If you didn’t have nipples there to play with, you’d probably pass out from boredom. That’s just one of the millions of reasons for dude nips! ScarJo should let her titty balls do the talking. They know what’s up.

Here’s ScarJo looking like Cher after falling in the curtains at last night’s premiere of that Into You shit show.

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