Today’s dartboard comes courtesy of Fishsticks Paltrow on the cover of Elle Magazine. Make sure you aim for the mouth, because that bitch needs to stop using it to whine. Inside the magazine, Fishy says she doesn’t understand why people hate GOOP so much!
Fishy opened up her tartar-covered lips and told the magazine (via OK! Magazine), “Fuck the haters! I saw this blog of people writing horrible things about me and, for a second, your ego is so wounded. How could people hate me, my intentions or what I’m trying to do? I’m a good person and I’m trying to put good things into the world. I’m probably less square than people think. I never get drunk to the point of throwing up. But I get very talkative. Man, I wish smoking didn’t kill you. I’d be smoking right now. I miss it.”
Fishy actually said “Fuck the haters”? Ugh. She’s so hardcore. I bet she said it in a shitty British accent, with her nose up in the air, her ass clenched and a cup of ORGANIC tea in her hand (with her pinky out, of course).
I thought eating grass and shitting herbal water is supposed to make you all Zen-like and smiley happy? Saying “Fuck the haters” isn’t very GOOPY. This fake ass bitch needs to drink an ice cold glass of preservatives with two shots of vodka, so she can get wasted and lighten up. She wonders why people hate her ass?! Does she even read GOOP?! Yeah, recommending $3,000 bags and detoxes that will make you caca out all your insides isn’t good. IT’S SHIT!
And as one of the haters Fishy is talking about, I’ll give her a “Fuck you, cunt!” right back. She can stick that in her GOOP.