My shit was sooooo close to seeing that epic shit show New in Town. I figured instead of having a Super Bowl day, I’d have a super suck day by watching that mess. I guessed the theater would be empty as shit. Not even the movie theater mice (they exist in NYC) would stick around to view a crap fiesta that looks like it was made ten years ago and kept on the shelf. The poster even smells like moth balls. Anyway, I love an empty theater, because it’s like sitting in your living room. You can act the fool. And you can also get sexy.
Seriously, if you and your lovah ever find yourselves without a place to do fucky shit, go see a movie like New in Town. You can pretty much guarantee that nobody else will be in the theater. That way you can suck dick without some prude calling the cops or some sucio bitch jacking to your action. It’s important that bombs like New in Town exist! They are giving a home to sluts who have no place to hone their craft.
But I am surprised that New in Town made more than a couple of food stamps. It actually made $6.8 million. It still tanked, but I can’t believe that many bitches actually gave up money for it. I mean, IN THIS ECONOMY! Speaking of wasting cash, Mall Cop was the #2 movie this weekend after 2 weeks at #1. If you want to see a foolio on a Segway, just watch this over and over again.
Below is the weekend’s top 10:
1. Taken – $24.6 million
2. Paul Blart: Mall Cop – $14 million
3. The Uninvited – $12.5 million
4. Hotel for Dogs – $8.7 million
5. Gran Torino – $8.6 million
6. Slumgdog Millionaire – $7.7 million
7. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans – $7.2 million
8. New in Town – $6.8 million
9. My Bloody Valentine 3D – $4.3 million
10. Inkheart – $3.7 million
HA! Squinty Zellweger got beat by Hotel for Dogs!