Harvey Is Coming To America!

HAAAAAARVEY! HAAAAAARVEY! When I first saw these pictures, I seriously screamed his name really damn loud like my head exploded. My neighbors probably thought I finally lost it for real this time. Officially. They said to each other, “Well, the crazy ‘mo next door finally broke. He’s screaming about an imaginary giant bunny friend. Time to get out the number to Bellevue. You know, the number we’ve been saving for this very moment.”

But Harvey Price really is my imaginary giant bunny friend. Whenever I see him, I feel like everything’s going to be alright. And now he’s on his way to American to bring a little sunshine to this grey world. Sorry, Kanye. You may be bright red in this grey world, but Harvey is sunshine and rainbows.

Doesn’t he look like he should always be holding balloons and daisies? Oh, he makes me happy. I hope he finally gets his turn in the spotlight when he comes to Hollywood again. Harvey needs his own TV talk show, movie franchise, disco album, sweatshirt collection and line of delicious cookies. You know, I think he’s the one who can save Mother’s Circus Animal Cookies. All they have to do is change the name to Harvey’s Circus Animal Cookies and put him on the cover of the package. Instant fucking worldwide best seller! If anyone can save Mother’s Cookies for real, it’s Harvey. He can save anything!

Here’s Harvey with some people arriving at Heathrow Airport this morning to make their way to America. Once Katie Price arrives, the authorities should just pluck her up and plop her in the produce section of the nearest Albertson’s. Bitch has officially turned into a butternut squash.