Hey, The Dealers Had To Get Paid

January 30, 2009 / Posted by:

While Amy Wino was in St. Lucia terrorizing the tourists, thieves broke into her Camden crack den and stole £15,000 worth of booty! It wasn’t hard. They just smashed the door in and pressed “CRAAAAAAKE” (a combination of crack and Blaaake) into her security system. The Sun says the burglars ninja kicked her front door down and made off with five guitars, some recording equipment and a flat-screen TV. By the time the bobbies (look at me! I’m speaking fancy!) arrived, the robbers were long gone.

A source said that Wino is going back to Camden this weekend and will have to clean up the mess. The source went on to say, “Amy is devastated. Some of the guitars are irreplaceable due to their sentimental value. The flat is in a real state. It had been cleaned up in preparation for her return. Now she will have to start from scratch to replace what has been stolen.

Let’s be really really really real here. Bitch owed her rock dealer some cash and this is how he got his. I just hope there wasn’t a Grudge-style videotape in the thieves’ bag. And by “Grudge-style videotape,” I mean SEX TAPE. And that shit wouldn’t co-star Blaaake since he’s in the chokey. I’m not prepared to see Wino giving her crack pipe a blow job with her snatch. I can’t.

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