Dear Ali Lohan, This Is What A 15-Year-Old Should Look Like

January 30, 2009 / Posted by:

I thought I’d give you some Dakota Fanning to wash the Ali Lohan out of your eyes. It’s nice to see that some chicks in the whole Hollywood game are okay with looking 15 (Dakota turns 15 next month). 15-year-olds should look like fresh Spring daisies, not like a middle-aged, stressed out DMV employee who also work the red eye shift as a taxi dancer to support her OxyContin habit (see post below).

Dakota is truly turning into a lovely young, pristine lady. A lady that I don’t even want to curse in front of. I’m joking. I even curse in front of babies. Well, you might as well learn the most useful words in the English language at an early age.

Here’s little Dakota at the premiere of Push in Westwood, CA last night with Eyebrow Belle, Chris Evans and a knocked up Kimorazilla with her hot piece.

And was there not a Port-A-Potty at this shit? Dakota and Eyebrow Belle look like they have to make a pee pee. And Chris Evans should really carry a pair of Blue Blockers at all times. Bitch always looks like the sun is flashing its shiny peen in his face.

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