Joaquin Is Faking It

January 28, 2009 / Posted by:

Joaquin Phoenix said “BYE! GOOD” to Hollywood and told anyone who gave a shit that he was going to focus on music. And by “music,” he meant homeless dude rapping. He debuted his sad hobo-on-a-subway act in Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago with his friend Casey Affleck documenting the whole pathetic show on camera. Now, two whores have told EW that Joaquin’s new career is just a fucking 5th grade art project for him. A joke. A ha-ha. A funny. An “I got you.” Like we didn’t know that already?

One of the whores said, “He said, ‘It’s a put-on. I’m going to pretend to have a meltdown and change careers, and Casey is going to film it.'” The other whore piped in, “It’s an art project for him. He’s going full out. He probably has told his reps that he’s quit acting. Joaquin is very smart. This is very conscious. He has a huge degree of control.

Art never looked so mangy.

Wouldn’t it be so much fucking fun to just go around playing stupid ass jokes on everyone? Life is just one big fun game! I’m sure this shit is a stupid ass hoax, but Joaquin still has crazy bugs dropping crazy shits in his crazy brains. Joaquin needs to drop this fakery (also related to fuckery and faggotry) and go do something better with his life like re-grout my bathroom tile or teach my dog how to do the Macarena.

And Joaquin needs more people. Vanilla Ice already played that “I’m a white boy who can rap” hoax on everyone. Although, I don’t think Vanilla has let us in on the joke yet.

Thanks Alia

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