Jessica Simpson is totally making the “I made a poopy” face. Yes, Jessica, you did. And it’s smeared all over your body in the form of that not-right outfit. This is some “Miss Piggy joins the cast of The Real Trailer Park Housewives of Alabama” shit. If you ever want to clear a room or make a grown man cry, wear these diaper mom jeans. Those jeans are making her crotch look all fatty and sloppy. Lardcrotch!
Here’s more of Jessica performing at Radio 99.9 Kiss Country’s annual Chili Cookoff (how fucking fitting) in Pembroke Pines, FL yesterday. At the show, Jessica told the audience, “I am so excited that I am going to see my boyfriend tonight! My boyfriend is a football player, and he takes up my Sundays and now my Mondays.” Replace “football player” with “seven-layer cake” and then this quote would make sense.