Rock Of Love Bus: Ashley Wants A Cheeseburger

January 26, 2009 / Posted by:

There were so many herp-puss covered gems during Rock of Love Bang Bus last night that I couldn’t just pick one to share with you. So I’m dropping a few. Like with any ROLBB post, make sure you look at these pictures through a pinhole in a condom to protect yourself from the high-levels of skankness. Grab a rubber and join me after the jump. JUMP!!!!

1. My first favorite moment was when Taya fell off the fucking stage during one of the challenges while wearing a whorey maid outfit. If you’re going to fall off the stage, you might as well be dressed like a whore who does windows. I felt for Taya. I was afraid she popped an ass wart or two. But I was a little surprised that Taya could fall any further since the bitch has already hit rock bottom (i.e. mouth fucking Bret Michaels).

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2. The skanks were told to “dress to impress” for Bret. Most of the whores wore shit straight out of the Flirt Catalog, but Brittanayaaa (or whatever the fuck her name is) gets my “Fine Lady Award” for her sophisticated denim panties. Some of you may not be impressed, but I am. And in Slutonese, “dress to impress” translates into “dress to sell ass.” Now does Britt’s elegant ensemble make sense to you?

3. This picture of Marcia sums up the whole show for me: a bruised up, battered down whore having trouble opening a bottle of tequila. Yes, that’s a metaphor for you to figure out.

4. A drunken Ashley made out with one of the other skanks and then flipped out after she saw the lady beast known as Beverly kissing on Bret’s drummer. When Beverly denied that shit (even she got caught on camera), Ashley responded with: “I want a cheeseburger.” For the record, that is the correct response for EVERYTHING. Clip below:

5. And finally, let’s end with some more words of drunkness from Ashley. When one of the tramps gave Ashley the side-eye for being a boozed up skank, she had this to say: “Get over it. People puke and they poop their pants.” Ashley is the Nietzsche of this generation!

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