WAKE UP and smell the lubed-up butt plug in your ass, Matthew! You’ve got a photo-op to fake smile for.
These two have the sexual chemistry of a dying salamander and white dog caca (StepBrothers 4 EVA). It’s a good thing Matthew Broderick keeps a picture of a hard wang on his cell phone at all times, so he can glance it every few minutes to get an extra shot of energy or. Seriously, SJP and Matthew look like they would rather be getting a genital rub from Freddy Krueger. Their clothes even look miserable. Slap him with a dick and slap her with a carrot.
Here’s Ladyhawke and his little pony telling everyone “We’re holding hands! This means we’re happy!” in NYC last night.