All The Men In New York Want Heather Mills

It’s not even noon and I’m already shouting “CUNT!!!” at the top of my lungs. It’s going to be a good day. So, it’s time for your daily dose of delusion brought to you by the world’s most hated whore Heather Mills! Let the c-word roll off your tongue. It’s a wonderful sensation.

Heather Mills tells Page Six Magazine that ever since she has moved to NYC, men have been chasing her everywhere! The mega cunt said, “I’ve got so many stunning girlfriends who can’t get a boyfriend. But when I go out here, I get asked out all the time, and my girlfriends – who are better looking than me – say, ‘How the hell does that happen?!’ Maybe it’s because I’m comfortable with myself.”

Okay, what kind of men are “chasing” her? Are these Biggest Loser candidates we’re talking about, because you shouldn’t have to run that fast to catch her. She only has one leg! An alcoholic turtle with irritable bowel syndrome could catch up to her without trying.

I don’t think men are actually asking her out on a real date. They just want to get close to her so they can do the world a favor and punch her teeth out to hopefully shut her up for a while. Say it all together now……CUUUUUUNT! It’s like cunty music to my ears….