The Oscar Nominations: Phoebe Price SHUT OUT!

January 22, 2009 / Posted by:

This is absolutely atrocious! I’m about to throw my full cup of Sanka at the TV screen, but I can’t do this because I don’t have any left. But seriously! The Oscar nominations were announced this morning and international supermodel Phoebe Price was left out of the Best Actress category. ILLEGAL! HURTFUL! WRONG! You can blend down the performances of Ann Hathaway, Angelina Jolie, Melissa Leo, Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet into one little shot and you still wouldn’t have 10% of the raw and emotional performance Chicken Cutlets gave in Get Smart. Fuck. They could have at least nominated her cutlets. Look at the pure intensity in her cutlets. They are giving it their all. Fuck the Oscars! They never honor the truly talented artistes of the cinema! Robbed! Robbed! Robbed! Just because of that, Phoebe Price will not be one of their seat fillers this year. NO! Okay, she will, but she’s going to do it with a frown. Fuck that shit.

It was bad news for our Hot Babe of 2007, but it was good news for Loki, Mickey Rourke’s dog. His daddy was nominated for Best Actor. Things are looking up, Loki! You don’t have to eat the fallen skin off of your owner’s face anymore. You can eat real dog food!

The rest of the nominations were pretty basic, but The Dark Knight was not nominated for Best Picture and Clint Eastwood didn’t get shit for that Dirty Harry Protects The Asians movie. I thought Kate Winslet would get two nominations because everyone is licking her ass this year, but she only got one Best Actress nod for The Reader. I haven’t seen that shit but my friend had this to say about it: “Winslet TITTIES!” Seriously, that’s all he said. And no, he’s not 12.

And I hope Saint Angelina is warming up her cuntface, because she’s going to lose the Best Actress award again. I live for that shit. When she loses, you all better get under a sturdy table, because the Brangaloonies are going to explode causing the world to shake.

The main categories are after the jump. Click here to see the entire list. THAT BENJAMIN BUTTON’S SHIT!!! got the most nominations with 13. JUMP!!!!

Supporting Actress
Amy Adams – Doubt
Penelope Cruz – Vicky Christina Barcelona
Viola Davis – Doubt
Marisa Tomei – The Wrestler
Taraji P. Henson – THAT BENJAMIN BUTTON’S SHIT!!!!!

Supporting Actor
Josh Brolin – Milk
Robert Downey Jr. – Tropic Thunder
Philip Seymour Hoffman – Doubt
Michael Shannon – Revolutionary Road
Heath Ledger – The Dark Knight

Best Actress
Anne Hathaway – Rachel Getting Married
Melissa Leo – Frozen River
Meryl Streep – Doubt
Kate Winslet – The Reader
Angelina Jolie – The Changeling

Best Actor
Richard Jenkins – The Visitor
Frank Langella – Frost/Nixon
Brad Pitt – THAT BENJAMIN BUTTON’S SHIT!!!!!
Sean Penn – Milk
Mickey Rourke – The Wrestler

Director
David Fincher, THAT BENJAMIN BUTTON’S SHIT!!!!!
Ron Howard, Frost/Nixon
Gus Van Sant, MILK
Stephen Daldry, The Reader
Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire

Original Screenplay
Frozen River
Happy-Go-Lucky
Milk
Wall-E
In Bruges

Adapted Screenplay
THAT BENJAMIN BUTTON’S SHIT!!!!!
Doubt
Frost/Nixon
Slumdog Millionaire
The Reader

Animated
Bolt
Kung Fu Panda
Wall-E

Best Picture
THAT BENJAMIN BUTTON’S SHIT!!!!!
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

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