The New Church Of Brangie

Long Island, NY will soon be blessed with the holy Brangelina family. Yes, Brangaloonies everywhere will soon travel to the new holy land to kiss the ground St. Angie Jo floats above. Star claims they will move into the $60 million Sassafras estate in the town of Lloyd Neck while Angie films Salt for a few months.

They aren’t buying it, just renting it. CHEAP FUCKS! I really don’t know what they’re going to do. The house is barely big enough for them at only 22,000 square feet. Yeah, teeny tiny, right? Poor Maddox will have to combine his hair salon and knife throwing space into one room. Times are tough.

While Maddox is there, I hope he travels to where the real Long Islanders live so that he can learn and embrace their native culture. When they’re done with him, he’ll have an Aquanet hair nest that touches the sky and beach scenes painted on his new fake nails.

Here’s a few more pictures of their new dump. I also threw in a few pics of St. Angie sticking up her nose at the little people while at the Paris premiere of Baby Old Face.