Padma Lakshmi is good at sooooo many things. She’s good at saying “from the makers of GLAD family of products” on Top Chef and she’s even better at picking men. And by “men” I mean sugar pepaws. Padma’s last piece was Salman Rushdie and now she’s pulling Ted Forstmann’s frosty pubes out of her mouth. He’s the 60-something CEO of IMG and he shits gold. Enough said. He no longer looks like he has moth balls under his nuts. He looks like a hot piece with 8-pack abs and a mega peen.
Some bitches like big dicks and some like big checking accounts. The difference is that a big dick isn’t going to buy you a Bentley. But a big checking account will turn a small soggy peen into a 9″ rock hard rod of sex. Yes, it will, but only authentic gold diggers are born with that kind of imagination. Padma has it. She’s my inspiration.