Wonky McValtrex Could Win An Award This Year!
Wonky better wipe the jizz dust off one of her shelves because she could take home an actual award for this year. The award for being the biggest piece of shit on movie screens this year! That’s because she is nominated for a Razzie Award for her diarrhea-inducing perWHOREmance in The Hottie & the Nottie. This would be her second! She was given this prestigious honor for that House of Wax bullshit a couple of years ago.
The Razzie nominations were announced this morning and they called out the worst bitches and movies of 2008. Mike Myers’ The Love Guru got the most nominations with seven. Wonky’s 2nd grade school project and The Happening also got a few nominations. Uwe Boll, the King of Shit, managed to get a special award for contributing gallons of vomit to the movie industry.
I’m kind of upset that I’ve only witnessed a few of these disasters. I better buy a big bucket, a 12-pack of Charmin and get to watching all these epic shit shows.
All the nominations are after the jump. My only prediction/wish is that Pierce Brosnan takes home The Golden Dingles award for his hideous walrus warble in Mamma Mia! Seriously, wrap that shit up and send it his way. JUMP!!!!
Worst Movie
DISASTER MOVIE & MEET THE SPARTANS
(Two Movies — One Berry Badly Beaten Dead Horse of a Concept!)
THE HAPPENING
THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE
IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE
THE LOVE GURU
Worst Actor
Larry the Cable Guy – WITLESS PROTECTION
Eddie Murphy – MEET DAVE
Mike Myers – THE LOVE GURU
Al Pacino – 88 MINUTES and RIGHTEOUS KILL
Mark Wahlberg – THE HAPPENING and MAX PAYNE
Worst Actress
Jessica Alba – THE EYE and THE LOVE GURU
The Cast of THE WOMEN – (Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett-Smith
and Meg Ryan)
Cameron Diaz – WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
Wonky’s Ugly Ass – THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE
Kate Hudson – FOOLS’ GOLD and MY BEST FRIEND’S GIRL
Worst Supporting Actor
Uwe Boll (as Himself) – UWE BOLL’S POSTAL
Pierce Brosnan – MAMMA MIA!
Ben Kingsley – THE LOVE GURU, WAR, INC. and THE WACKNESS
Burt Reynolds – DEAL and IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE
Verne Troyer – THE LOVE GURU and UWE BOLL’S POSTAL
Worst Supporting Actress
Carmen Electra – DISASTER MOVIE and MEET THE SPARTANS
Paris Hilton – REPO: THE GENETIC OPERA
Kim Kardashian – DISASTER MOVIE
Jenny McCarthy – WITLESS PROTECTION
Leelee Sobieski – 88 MINUTES and IN THE NAME OF THE KING
Worst Screen Couple
Uwe Boll & ANY Actor, Camera or Screenplay
Cameron Diaz & Ashton Kutcher – WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS
Paris Hilton and either Christine Lakin or Joel David Moore – HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE
Larry the Cable Guy & Jenny McCarthy – WITLESS PROTECTION
Eddie Murphy IN Eddie Murphy – MEET DAVE
Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel
THE DAY THE EARTH BLOWED UP REAL GOOD
DISASTER MOVIE & MEET THE SPARTANS
INDIANA JONES & THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
SPEED RACER
STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS
Worst Director
Uwe Boll – 1968: TUNNEL RATS, IN THE NAME OF THE KING and POSTAL
Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer – DISASTER MOVIE and MEET THE SPARTANS
Tom Putnam – THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE
Marco Schnabel – THE LOVE GURU
M. Night Shyamalan – THE HAPPENING
Worst Screenplay
DISASTER MOVIE & MEET THE SPARTANS
THE HAPPENING
THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE
IN THE NAME OF THE KING
THE LOVE GURU
Worst Career Achievement
(Special Category!)
Uwe Boll
(Germany’s Answer to Ed Wood)