AHAHAHA! When that Droop Dog-faced Vicki hit the concrete on The Real Housewives of Orange County last night, my Tivo remote knew what was about to happen. If that shit had legs, it would’ve ran away and joined the circus. I rewinded that shit so many times I thought the button was going to fall off. What a beautiful moment.
So, last week we were left with blue balls. The episode ended with Gretchen almost cheating on her dying sugar daddy with Tamra’s rapey-eyed son. Nothing happened. I was hoping Tamra would bust in and start shit, but she didn’t. Instead, Gretchen kicked him out of the bathroom and that was that. It was very anti-climactic. I almost asked for my money back, but then Vicki fell and that made me forgive everyone.
Also in the episode, the housewives (sans Tamra) discussed my second favorite subject: MONEY! Specifically, Vicki and Jeana double-teamed Gretchen and told her she needs to become one of the benefactors of her fiance’s life insurance policy before he shuffles off since she doesn’t work and has been taking care of him.
This started a small war when that Lori Loughlin-looking bitch (her name is irrelevant) piped in and said she didn’t think it was right for Gretchen to bring up money with her sugar daddy. The dumb bitch needs to choke on one of her fugly ass “Cuff Loves,” because she lives in a patchouli cloud. Vicki speaks the truth! Besides, I think Gretchen was kind of playing dumb because she didn’t want the others to think she’s a supreme gold digger. She probably already had the papers drawn up. The ho ain’t as dumb as she plays! Below is a short clip of that Cuff Love ho and Vicki having words.