This Is How Verne Troyer Kisses A Baby Doll

January 21, 2009 / Posted by:

In Verne’s defense, the doll is just his size. But this shit makes me flashback to his retina-killing sex tape. The two screen shots are pretty much the same. Verne needs to learn how to kiss without involving his little lizard tongue. After this shit went down, that plastic baby doll tried to throw itself in a fire.

Verne got sexy with the baby doll while making a movie with his fellow Celebrity Big Brother housemates. Verne had to pretend that the doll was Mutya Buena, who recently quit the show. Verne tells the doll, “Hey, Mutya. I know you wanna leave, but before you go can you just save a spot in bed for me and I will give you some special loving. We don’t have to tell anyone else. Hey – do you want to ride my scooter?” Click here to watch the scene, but I can’t guarantee that Chris Hansen won’t come up behind you and ask you to talk for a minute. Or that PedoBear will tap your on the shoulder and give you the thumbs up. Seriously, this feels like some pedo shit.

Some viewers of CBB skeeved out by the whole thing and have sent in letters. They said that a “grown man” shouldn’t be getting it on with a baby doll. The words “grown man” needed to be italicized and pressed into quotes for obvious reasons.

And after Verne convinces the plastic baby doll not to throw itself in a fire, methinks he’s going to marry it and make a million itty bitty plastic babies with it. They are totally going to look like this.

Thanks Rebecca

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >