Pepaw Says Farewell To His Beloved Bushy Eyebrows

When your eyebrows are so damn bushy that you have to shampoo, deep condition, blow dry and brush them each morning, it’s time to whack that shit off. 72-year-old Si Burgher of Indiana finally tamed his out-of-control eyebrow situation by letting bitches trim them as part of a fundraiser for his Rotary International’s PolioPlus project.

The Rotary members got the idea last week. Probably because they were sick of Pepaw Si asking them to braid his bush brows so he could see.

Several people paid $100 each to cut off a little piece of his eyebrows. They rasied a total of $1,600. His wife Amy did the honors with the first whack. She told MSNBC, “Beneath the eyebrows is a really handsome man. He looks like a normal person. I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.” Damn. A normal person? Bitch could have cut off those brows with her words.

Pepaw Si really looks like he’s in pain from getting his pubic bush brows chopped off. Look at him. He looks like someone strangled his puppy. He needs a hot cup of Metamucil, a caramel square and a warm compress. I’m tempted to call up one of my chola cousins in California and ask them to volunteer their eyebrow painting services to this old bitch. He might be crying tears of pain now, but he’ll be crying tears of joy after they take a Sharpie to his brows. Who wouldn’t want a pair of gorgeous cholita eyebrows? They might even throw in a tear drop tattoo for free.