The Cheeto Diaries

January 20, 2009 / Posted by:

The Mirror claims that Brit Brit is in negotiations to “write” her life story for £10 million. A source said that if the deal goes through, Brit will somehow put together three to five books in the next ten years. Some source said, “She’s kept diaries so there’s nothing she’ll leave out unless she wants to. Britney will talk frankly about growing up and how she went off the rails. It’ll be a gripping read.”

As gripping and insightful as that propaganda piece of shit she tried to pass off as a documentary?

I bet Brit Brit’s diaries look like the Pee Chee folder of a 7-year-old girl. It’s probably all pictures drawn with crayons and water markers. Whenever she thinks a page is really deep, she marks it with a hologram sticker. The publisher should just save some time and release Everyone Poops with Brit’s picture on the cover. It’ll be the same shit.

And the only chapter I’m interested in reading in Brit’s tell-all is the one titled: Hi Yall! Brit Brit here, just want to update you all on the size of my vagina. Its about 4 feet wide with razor sharp teeth.

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