Assault With A Deadly Taco

Gone are the days where you didn’t have to worry about going to jail if you threw a taco at a bitch’s face. The other day in Deltona, FL, this 19-year-old douchebag threw a taco at his mom’s face after she unplugged his Xbox. Yes, she got a face full of taco. It does sound like the plot of a sick ass porn movie.

Dena Moir told police that her son Zachary is a mega loser who doesn’t have a job and plays Xbox every single waking minute. When she called his ass down for dinner, he refused, so she went upstairs and fucked up his life by unplugging his Xbox. That’s when he followed her downstairs and bitch slapped her with a taco. Seriously, this sounds kind of sexy in a totally wrong way. Dena said, “I’ve been having trouble with him for awhile won’t work, wont’ go to school. He’s being rude and disrespectful. Pushing things to the limit as far as the violence. I’ve threatened to call police before. But anyway this time, I thought he went too far so I called police and he’s in jail now.”

Dena refuses to take his calls from jail and is trying to teach him a lesson. Damn. Bitch really didn’t like getting taco slapped. Can’t say I blame her. A couple of times in junior high school I experimented and let a bitch pound me in the mouth with her taco. I wanted to call 911 too.

And I hate to admit it, but even though Zach is a bag of dirty dildos, I’d still let him hit it with his taquito. As far as I know, he doesn’t have a taco. And if he does, he can hit it with that too.