Tons of shit happened on Rock of Bang Bus last night. It was a fun-filled trash extravaganza as usual. First, Melissa busted her implant when she fell on the ice during a hockey game. A leaky brain and a leaky tittay! Melissa also got caught calling her boyfriend in the middle of the night and telling him she had no respect for Bret Michaels. Captain Obvious also told her man that Bret wears fake hair. Yeah, it was nice of you to join us, Melissa. You’re 3 years late in realizing Bret wears hair produced by Mattel (their European branch), but you’ve got a leaky booby and brain, so it’s not your fault. In the end, Bret threw Melissa and her “Made In Tijuana” titties off the show because she talked shit about his bald head. Basically.
But the best part of the episode was when the government check version of Juliette Lewis, Ashley, and the other skeezers found out that Brittany had stolen their sweaty socks from the hockey game! Brittany admitted it but said she didn’t steal it. The owner of the hockey joint let her take that shit. After she tongue fucked him in the ass, of course.
There was never any kind of explanation as to why that nasty bitch stole their grossness. Brittany is in the porn game, so I figured she was planning to whore that shit out on eBay. The skanks better check the rest of their shit, because Brittany probably snatched their crusty panties and pussberry-covered tampons. Coming to an Ebay listing near you: Authentic Rock of Love Bus smegma!
And if Maria calls herself a “retired model” one more fucking time, I’m going to make her lift up Bret’s bandana and stare at his bald head. That’s some Grudge shit.