Wino Will Always Love Blaaaaake

January 17, 2009 / Posted by:

The Sun sent one of their reporters over to the Island of Crackie aka St. Lucia in the Caribbean to spend a little time with Amy Wino. What was supposed to be just a one-week holiday has turned into a two-month rampage. The reporter learned that even though Blaaaaake wants to drop the big D (divorce not death) on Wino, she’s not hearing that mess. Well, it’s hard for her to hear anything with all those crackiewax balls in her ears.

Wino said, “I still love my Blake. I won’t let him divorce me. He’s still in jail but the moment he comes out I’ll be there waiting for him. I love him because he’s just like me. Blake is the male version of me. We’re perfect for each other. I don’t want to go back home to England. I want to wait for Blake here.”

Truth talk time. England evicted her. They put all her crackie little shit in a tugboat floating in the English Channel. They also changed all their numbers, so she can’t text them begging to be let back into their lives.

And Blaaake being Wino with a dick is the main problem here. Fuck yourself, but never ever date yourself. The last time I dated someone that was just like me, it ended with me attacking his face with a fork because he put on my favorite jeans and said he looked hotter in them. For the record: they did looker hotter on him and that’s why the fork came out.

Wino also talks about how her poon still belongs to Blaaaaake even though she’s passing it around the island. The best part of the article is when the bitch from The Sun interviews a couple that Wino tried to get with. They did not want. The dude said, “As soon as we arrived at the resort Amy was all over my girlfriend. She was telling her, ‘You’re gorgeous. I’d love to fuck you. Bring your boyfriend, he can watch’. She was quite clear what she wanted, she was saying, ‘You two can spend the night in my room’. If she had been at all good looking we might have done it. But we just ended up smoking a sneaky joint with her instead.

They don’t know what they’re missing. Have they ever seen Wino suck on a crack pipe? Imagine the things she could do with a clitty. She’d have that vagina barfing in record time. Mostly because anything that gets that close to Wino’s face gets a case of the voms.

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