Kendra Admits To Fucking Around On Hef

Now that Kendra Wilkinson has moved out of the Playboy mansion and is no longer one of Hef’s whores, she’s spilling shit to UsWeekly (via NYDN). Oh, I love it when bitches diarrhea all over what made them famous in the first place.

Kendra said life at the mansion was strict as hell and that she’s totally against Hef’s “way of life” now. Their comings and goings were monitored in a book that Hef would look at every morning. They weren’t allowed to ever visit their families during the holidays and they were given a measly weekly allowance of only $1,000. Kendra said, “I hate putting my hand out, but we couldn’t have jobs other than getting appearance fees.”

$52k a year is minimum-wage for a trophy wife. Although, the mansion does have an open bar, right? Because I know some skanks that probably spend that a year on booze alone. Don’t look at me. I’m fucking happy with some Gordon’s.

Despite her every move being watched, Kendra found ways to sneak out for quick fuck sessions. She said that there were times when she would suck on Hef’s Play-Doh peen, but most days she hardly saw him. She said, “I only saw Hef, like, once a day walking through the halls to his office. There were never solo dates. The most we kind of say to each other is, ‘I love you,’ ‘Love you too,’ ‘I hope you have a good day,’ ‘Did you have a good day?‘ ”

So because of the lack of attention her poon was getting, she had to go elsewhere to get that shit milked. But Kendra said Bridget claims she never fucked around on Hef, “Bridget told me that she’s been faithful all these years, and I was like, ‘How the hell can you do that?’ I had to have [sex] so I could feel my age,like a healthy human being.”

It sounds like Kendra sort of had it okay. SORT OF. Everything was pretty much paid for. She didn’t have to regularly eat Hef’s oatmeal ass. And she could fuck with some hot piece every now and again.

Holly is the one I want to hear from. That bitch was sleeping in Hef’s bed every night. She’s the one who probably has carpal tunnel from trying to get Hef to bust one while jacking him off with BenGay. She has the stories.

And at least Kendra learned how to sneak out properly. She’s going to need that skill after she gets married and her new husband stops putting out.