Breaking: Jacko Holds A Bag Of Chips

January 15, 2009 / Posted by:

Jacko really doesn’t get the recognition he deserves as one of the world’s greatest fashion icons. One day he’ll dress up like a Bollywood Zorro and another day he’ll roll around in a “Sarah Palin as a gothic beekeeper” outfit. The latter is the look he went for yesterday as he visited some kind of medical center in Beverly Hills. He was there to get his nose dipped, polished and rotated.

As he left the joint, he signed a few autographs before getting into his SUV and holding a back of chips. I don’t think he eats the chips. He takes them out one by one, stares at them and that’s how he gets full. I mean, he can’t put them in his mouth. He’s wearing a mask!

Speaking of, I’m going to start wearing a mask around the city. The other day I sneezed out some shit that looks like it came out of Parasite Hilton’s ass. It was all hard on the outside and gooey on the inside (I pinched it). It was like a piece of Freshen Up. Well, if they made an ass smegma flavor. I just know all the nasty shit floating in the air was to blame. Or maybe my own body created it from all the build-up. In that case, I still should voluntarily wear a mask before the CDC makes it mandatory for me.

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