Kevin Bacon Needs A Job

January 14, 2009 / Posted by:

Somebody give Kevin Bacon a job! And not a blow job! Well, unless you’re going to pay top dollar for it. Seriously, can’t they write him into the Footloose remake? Or maybe a network can buy BACON’D? Something! Kevin is just not bringing home the bacon the way he used to (GONG!). The bitch needs money.

Kevin and his wife person, Kyra Sedgwick, found themselves swindled by Bernie Madoff. They say they lost everything but the money in their checking accounts and their houses. Kevin told Life & Style that he needs work, “We’ll march on. We have to. There’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t change what happened. Things could be worse. You remember that, and you go on with your life. I didn’t see it coming. I don’t have anything lined up right now, but I need to work, for obvious reasons.

Kyra has money coming in from The Closer. But Kevin’s last gig was that Frosty Snowman/Nixon movie.

Ok, what about a Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game show hosted by the man himself. I’d watch that shit. Let’s play it now! Shall we? I’ll start:

1. I know a bitch.
2. This bitch knows Justin Theroux’s dog sitter.
3. Justin Theroux’s dog sitter obviously knows Justin Theroux.
4. Justin Theroux was in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle with Shia LaDouche.
5. Shia LaDouche was in New York, I Love You with KEVIN BACON!

Voila. I am separated from Kevin Bacon by 5 degrees. It’s your turn. You can use this hot website to help you. I’m sure all of you will beat my ass. 5 is pretty weak.

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