How is Camden functioning without their main crackie?! The ice pops are piling up to the ceiling. The drug dealers are forced to get in the bread line. The pappies are slapping each other, because they miss their daily beating from Amy Wino. Camden needs their crackie, but she’s busy hanging on to ropes and shit in St. Lucia. Yes, Wino! Ropes aren’t only used to tie around arm while getting shot deep.
The Crackie of the Caribbean is taking trapeze lessons at her hotel now. You know she was fucking pissed when she found out what a trapeze was. The description in the hotel activities book probably read: “You’ll fly higher than ever before!” This is not what she had in mind.
In other crackabean news, Wino’s island fuck (ew) has flown away! Wino was smoking on Josh Bowman’s pipe, but he left on Sunday and her crackgina isn’t sad about it. The Sun says Wino told some of the guests, “Josh has gone home. He was lovely. But it was a holiday thing. I still love my Blake. While he’s locked away, I’m still gonna have a good time. He can’t do anything about it.”
Wait. Blaaaaake is still her Blaaaaaaaaake?! Obviously, none of her whores told her that he kind of wants to D-I-V-O-R-C-E her. Don’t tell her! As long as she keeps shouting for her Blaaaaaake, the world can keep spinning. Now if she can only hire a private investigator to track down her crackhive and bring it back to her head where it belongs. That Chico Marx mop is not the look.