Wino Knows Best

January 9, 2009 / Posted by:

Did you really think Amy Wino would get through her St. Lucia vacation without attacking some ho? But I suspect Wino was smart about this one. Wino’s spokeswhore told The Sun that there was a little misunderstanding (isn’t there always?) between her and some of the guests at the resort. Wino’s got a little crackwax in her ears, because she misunderstood a conversation between a lady guest and some others. This led to Wino to pull a “Heather Mills” by pouring a glass of water all over the bitch. Why did Wino play it smart?

Well, Wino with a glass of water? Please. The Crackie of the Caribbean obviously had some booze juice in her hand. You know, I really get hurt when bitches waste their alcohol by throwing it at someone. There’s people in this world who would kill a baby bunny for just one sip of life’s precious nectar. To waste it is disrespectful! Wino obviously agrees with me, because she probably stopped herself before she was about to pour her drink all over the whore’s head and walked on over to the bar instead. She asked the bartender for a glass of that clear free shit (she doesn’t know the name) and that’s when the woman got hit with a Wino waterfall. Well played.

The wet bitch got all dramatic about the incident and wanted to call the cops. The resort had to calm her down and force Wino to apologize in order to avoid dealing with the police. Wino reluctantly said she was so sowwy, but all is still not well at the resort.

A source said the guests and staff have had it with her, “Everyone wants Amy to disappear. Her attack on this guest was the last straw. She walks around in the same grimy bikini bottoms each day with her boobs on show, gets drunk, gropes waiters and is rude to male staff. She’s hardly the most popular guest.”

Why don’t I ever get a taste of this shit when I go on vacation? I get a bunch of oldies who shoot you an evil stare when you get too wasted and talk loudly about how you really want a hard cock to go with your cocktail. A bunch of judgmental Judge Judies.

They’ll have to get some ear plugs and steer clear of Harpo Marx’s crackie twin, because Wino is staying there an extra week. Hey, at least the sharks are staying away. Even they don’t want to deal with her crackery.

Here’s a few pictures of Wino proving that she should be Nike’s next spokeswhore. Just smoke it!

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