Our fourth open post host is Suri’s cabbage patch doll. She’ll make a good host, because she’ll bitch out if you get out of hand. Trust me. She can speak. And she can bite.
You know, I’m really upset with my 5-year-old self for not being smart enough to keep all my Cabbage Patch dolls in their original boxes. I could have sold that shit on eBay and pursued my dreams of becoming a bar girl in Thailand. Wait. Scratch that. I just looked up some 80s Cabbage Patch dolls on eBay and those things don’t sell for shit! Okay, I’m not mad at my 5-year-old self.
Enough with my ranting! It’s your turn. This is where you can talk about how you hate my 5-year-old self or whatever else you want. It’s open, so you don’t have stay on topic. Happy ranting!