I Would Expect Nothing Less

January 8, 2009 / Posted by:

YES! Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa , a hot piece of man meat who I just want to lick up until he melts into a puddle so that I can bottle him up and sip him throughout the day, said “hi” to a new baby friend sometime last month. Yes, I know that was a long description of Jason, but whenever I see a picture of him, my genitals do the writing.

Jason’s mother posted on his website forum that Lisa gave birth to a baby boy. They named him……hold your breath…. hold it….. don’t breathe…. DON’T! Are you passing out yet? …hold… it… here we go…. Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa!!! Seriously. Now I won’t feel bad when I name my first born Meka Leka Hi Meka Hiney Ho.

Jason’s mommy went on to explain the name, “He was born on the stormest, rainy night.
so Nakoa(warrior)…Mana(strength/spirit) Kaua(rain) po(dark)… The name was always going to be Nakoa-Wolf, but Jason did the research on first middle name, 2nd middle name as you know is Jason’s.

Those incense-burning, no-deodorant wearing, peyote eating, tantric sexin’ hippies! Their son isn’t going to be able to say or write his name…. ever. I can’t even pronounce that shit! I feel like when I try to say his name, the clouds will turn black, the sky will go dark and the heavens will weep for 7 days straight. It’s totally a rain chant!

But you know what? It’s still a zillion times better than Bronx Mowgli. At least Nakoa-Wolf’s (HA!) means something. I shouldn’t say that. Bronx Mowgli means something in Doucheanese. It means “My parents are assholes.”


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