Hef’s Back To A 3 Whore Harem

January 6, 2009 / Posted by: Michael K

Holly, Kendra and Bridget have been replaced by 19-year-old twins, Karissa and Kristina, and now 22-year-old Crystal Harris (the skeezer in the headband). Over the holidays, Crystal apparently went on E!’s message boards and told everyone she was now on Hef’s payroll as his third hooker. The NYDN says Crystal, a San Diego State psychology student, wrote, “Hef gave me permission to fill people in on the new updates as a voice from the mansion.”

She also said that right now Hef just has three whores, but “there are a couple that we have interest in. … As for now, it is just us three.”

Crystal hasn’t been in Playboy yet, but she has bared her Ziploc sacks for the website. Click here to see her precious MySpace. It looks like the brain of an 12-year-old girl created it. Oh wait…

I’m getting a total Kendra vibe from the new ho. Well, if Kendra swallowed Holly and Bridget whole and had trouble digesting them.

And it makes sense why Hef always needs three skanks on staff. He needs one to pull his right prune cheek, one to pull the left and the third ho gets in there and wipes him up real good.

Tags: Beautifulest, Crackheads, Hookers, Pepaws

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