Lily Allen Got Herself A Sugar Peeeeeeepaw!

January 3, 2009 / Posted by:

Lily Allen has done a good thing. She went out and caught herself a big bag of money! Sure, Lily has her own cash, but a wise woman named Lil’ Kim once told me: “Why spend mine when I can spend yours.” That’s the truth in eight little words and a period.

23-year-old Lily has been frolicking all over St. Barts with one Jay Jopling. He’s worth kagillions! 45-year-old Jay has put together a £100million fortune from selling pictures. Jay recently quit his wife of 11 years back in September. He started boinking Lily’s pad a few weeks ago.

Some nosy ho told The Sun, “It’s early days in their relationship, but Lily has been telling pals how happy she is. She is thrilled with her new man, but some of her friends have urged caution because of the huge age difference. They don’t want to see her get hurt.”

Eff the age difference. His millions of dollars instantly turns him into a 6’2″ 20-something with a big dick and abs that could scrub my dirty mouth clean. Although, at first Lily’s new piece sort of looked like Taylor Hicks. And nobody wants his soul in their hole. No. But then I reminded myself that the dude has cash coming out of his ass and that’s when he turned into a horny Adonis.

Here’s Lily in St. Barts looking like Nell trying to make ends meet by working as a homeless gay hustler. I bet you Jay is into that shit. It’s always the rich ones. He totally makes Lily say “chicka-chicka-chicka-bee” while she’s blowing him.

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