Jude Law Is Looking For Fish

January 3, 2009 / Posted by:

Whenever I post pictures of Jude Law I have to comment on the fact that his Chia Pet head is not working anymore. It’s just not growing. His front end follicles migrated to his titty area and set up camp there. His fronthead is probably lonely, but at least his nipples have company and that’s all that matters really.

Anyway, Jude Law spent his holidays with his ex-wife and kids in Rio, because that’s what celebrities do. While everyone is freezing their clits off, they are dipping theirs in margaritas where it’s toasty.

Jude and his daughter also did a little snorkeling while there. Let’s talk about snorkeling for a quick second. I don’t get it. I’d rather just sit on the boat, booze and try to drown out the loud ass crap music they always play on high. I just don’t understand why whores bust nuts from looking at some stupid ass fishes! That’s what a screensaver is for! I can stare at all the colorful fishies I want without getting saltwater in my mouth. I mean, if I’m going to swallow a huge shot of a salty liquid, I want to hear a bitch scream “Oh baby bitch!” while pulling my hair. I know I’m totally alone on this, because everyone I know loves that shit and they even get all excited when they touch a fish. Bitch, I can touch all the fish I want at fucking Red Lobster!

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