2009 Has Been Saved!

January 1, 2009 / Posted by:

The trash TV gods were shining down upon us, because those dumb whores at Time Warner and Viacom decided to put their dicks away and settle their bitch fight. I swear, I was about to shuffle down to Time Warner and throw used condoms at their asses, because they were going to make me miss the Charm School Reunion Show (clip above)! If I didn’t’ get to see Sharon Osbourne take down that fat faced slut Megan, I was going to cut everyone’s cable lines. If I can’t see that shit, nobody can!

I can put my rusty razor away, because Vh1 and 18 other channels didn’t go dark for Time Warner customers this morning. The dumb bitch CEO of Time Warner said, “We are pleased that our customers will continue to be able to watch the customers will continue to be able to watch the programming they enjoy on MTV Networks. We are sorry they had to endure a day of public disagreement as we worked through this negotiation.

They wouldn’t say what the new terms of the deal are, but you better believe they are going to be charging us more. Even if they don’t need to, they will, because now they have an excuse. Those greedy whores loves to roll around in as much money as possible.

I’m still giving the side-eye to both Time Warner and Viacom, but at least I have my Vh1 and Dora the Explorer! Seriously, Dora is some good shit, but only when you’re stooooned.


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