Dane Cook Has Millions?!

The other day, I walked into my mom’s kitchen and found her taking $10 from my wallet that was lying on the table without my permission. This is what happened to Dane Cook, but instead of $10, his family member tried to take millions from him. It’s disturbing to know that Dane Cook has made millions of dollars from whatever it is he does. He should be paid in well drinks, food stamps and handjobs from day-shift hookers. Not actual money.

The NYDN says Dane Cook’s brother, Darryl McCauley, was arrested yesterday in Wilmington, Mass. for allegedly trying to steal millions upon millions from his ass. Darryl has worked as Dane’s business manager since the 90s.

The authorities say Dane has been working with them to get Darryl. Darryl has been transferring cash from his douchetard brother’s account to his own. Darryl even forged a check for $3 million and deposited it into his own account.

What caca-brained asshole thinks that no on would find out that he faked a $3 million check?! Scratch that question. I just answered it by looking above and seeing the words “Dane Cook’s brother.” I bet dumb fuck Darryl wrote in the memo: “Shhh! Don’t tell Dane.”

Darryl is even more stupid than the dumb whores who bought Domino’s pizzas with forged checks and then put on Pizza Hut t-shirts to resell the pizzas by the slice at a park. They even forgot to take the pizzas out of the Domino’s boxes. This is why freebasing while pregnant is not a good thing.