Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

This former hugely popular B list television star and now really in absolutely nothing happens to be married with child/ren. She has been in this space before. She has never had what one would describe as a quiet sex life despite what her image was when she was younger. Well at this point it is getting out of hand. Seems that she and her husband have always done swinging in a very exclusive club where anonymity is guaranteed. But now, she is branching out and with that branching she is losing some of her anonymity. In fact she is seriously looking for work because of a situation she got herself into about six months ago that involved several men at once. One of them threatened to expose it all and she has had to pay hush money since. She would turn the guy into the cops for extortion but feels the aftermath would be more than any attempt at a comeback could take. Meanwhile she needs to make money to keep paying out all the hush money. (CDAN)

The word “comeback” immediately made me think of my beloved Valerie Cherish as played by Lisa Kudrow. I don’t want to picture Valerie Cherish getting gang banged, though. No, I don’t want that.

Which TV actress has a new boyfriend with a temper? Her hipster beau is known for smacking around girls if they don’t put out. Luckily for him, she does. (Gatecrasher)

Hipsters are so violent! I have no clue, so I’ll just guess Betty White. That seems like a good guess.

Which chart-topping star is hiding a Santa secret from his model girlfriend? He’s already put her presents to him up for sale on eBay. (3am Girls)

John Legend? And he should just return them to Nordstrom. They take anything!

Celebrity 1 and Celebrity 2 hate each other for several reasons. But for right now Celebrity 1 really hates the fact that Celebrity 2 is grabbing the headlines. So Celebrity 1 will soon be announcing something that was supposed to be a secret for a while longer. Why the change in schedule? Simply because Celebrity 1 wants to push Celebrity 2 out of the media spotlight right after the New Year. Celebrity 1, who adopts an I’m-so-above-it-all attitude in public, is actually very competitive and very, very calculating in private. In fact, Celebrity 1 has struck a deal with a certain media source for an exclusive announcement involving a change in family structure. Very shrewd, and certain to grab magazine covers from Celebrity 2 throughout much of 2009. (Blind Gossip)

Blah. It has to be “you know who” and “you know poo.” I’m guessing “you know who” is going to either give birth to another messiah or make the angels sing in unison by getting married.