I’m In Love With David Mamet

December 29, 2008 / Posted by:

David Mamet on Dlisted. I didn’t think this moment would ever happen, but I couldn’t help it. After reading this shit about him on Page Six, I think I’m madly in love with him and need to become the next Mrs. David Mamet.

In her memoir, playwright Nancy Balbirer wrote about how amazingly hot David Mamet was to his students at NYU. David cursed them out, threw them out of class and called Bill Cosby a whore. Swoooooooon.

Here’s a few quotes from Nancy’s book. Page Six had to bleep out the good words, but if Mamet is saying it, it’s probably a “fuck” or a “cunt.”

Mamet on students talking too quietly: ” Get the [bleep] off my stage! Now,” he’d bellow . . . And, he’d continue, his short, burly body bouncing around like a school-yard bully in need of his daily Ritalin, “Don’t [bleep]ing come back until we can hear you. How dare you? You’re whispering. On the stage. It’s [bleep]ing passive-aggressive. You know, only people who are full of [bleep] whisper,” Balbirer writes.

Mamet’s response to a student asking who his favorite actress is: “Women who act are not actresses. They’re actors. Why do they need to [bleep]ing qualify what their genitalia are? Folks, seriously, I need to disabuse you of the notion that ‘actress’ is anything other than a euphemism for ‘floozy’ . . . Do women [bleep]ing writers call themselves ‘writressess?’ No! There’s nothing worse than being a woman in show business . . . you’ll be asked to do only two things in every [bleep]ing role you ever play: take your shirt off and cry.””

Mamet on TV: Mamet delivered a lecture, “the premise of which was that Bill Cosby was a whore . . . television was evil and for whores, Hollywood was a hotbed of whoredom, and we were to avoid all of these things like the plague, unless, of course, we, too, were whores and not the artists we said we were.

Yeah, I know it was love at first bleep for you too, but stay away from his hairy ass (you know it is). The grouchy bear is mine. Imagine waking up next to him? He’d probably roll to your side, gaze into your eyes and say, “Good fucking morning, you dumb fucking whore.” That’s real love.

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