David Beckham Makes Chuck Bass Pee Shy

Ed Westick’s manpussy puckers for David Beckham, but he couldn’t bring himself to talk to his wet dream maker when he ran into him at some event.

Ed tells Reveal Magazine (via Radar), “I was at this ball in New York that was so grand David Bowie was sitting at the next table and shook hands with George Clooney.Then I went to the toilet and there was David Beckham. I couldn’t say anything, I just ran out. A friend tried to persuade me to say, ‘Hello,’ but I couldn’t do it. It was ridiculous. But I had a Beckham t-shirt when I was a kid and he was the one I watched growing up. There have been a couple of times now that I’ve been in the same room as him, but I just can’t go up to him. I can’t do it.”

Ed ran out of the bathroom, because it’s kind of hard to piss with a boner. Note to Ed: break, shake and then piss. Also, Ed probably never goes up to Becks, because jizzing in his pants at first handshake would probably make a bad first impression.

Since we’re on the subject of getting pee shy. I seriously hate pissing in a crowded bathroom with a line of dudes waiting their turn. It sounds sort of sexy in a sick fuck way, but it’s far from it. It’s the damn worst thing and almost nearly impossible. When I’m standing at a urinal with dudes waiting for me to hurry up and piss, nothing comes out. I try everything. I punch at my bladder, squeeze my peen hole, think of waterfalls and push for dear life. The latter can be dangerous, because sometimes when you’re pushing for the piss, you accidentally let out an ass queef in front of everyone. And that’s when you just have to zip up, flip everyone off and then run the fuck out of there before you further embarrass yourself anymore.