It is a sloooow slooowwwwww gossip day. Somebody please go and wake Brit Brit up and tell her now is a great time for her to crash the crazy train again. I swear. I went to Winchell’s to get a fucking bear claw for breakfast, came back and there was this story on TMZ. I figured some of you broccoli lovers might care, so here it is.
Two pretty rich boring people got engaged. Wow, right? Tom Brady apparently asked Gis Buttchin to be his wifey while they were riding on a private jet from New Jersey to Boston on Christmas Eve. Tom proposed to Gis in front of her parents, she said yes and then Bridget Moynahan wet queefed.
Seriously, you know Bridge is laughing her ass off at this, because as soon as Gis gets knocked up, Tom will be taking his peen to another snatch. Trust this.
And now that we’ve gotten this exciting story out of the way, let’s all get drunk at T.G.I. Friday’s and then go terrorize the conservative memaws at Kohl’s by throwing a panty party in the middle of the “intimates” section.