Just Another Lohan Holiday

December 25, 2008 / Posted by:

It wouldn’t be a Lohan family holiday without a public bitchfest! After taking a small break from fighting through MySpace and the media, HoHan and her dumb fuck daddy are at it again. Yesterday, HoHan wrote about her half-sister during a MySpace rant. She basically confirmed that Ashley Kaufman is indeed her daddy’s kid. Remember that shit? If not, click here to get caught up on that mess. And here’s a little of the touching holiday message HoHan wrote yesterday:

i think that people go through a lot in life. and the things that we go through, whatever they may be, simply just make us stronger in the long run… that is, if we actually take what it is we have learned from our mistakes and teach ourselves what NOT to do in the future. i have gone through a lot in my past, and to be completely honest, i am still going through a lot right now.. my father just let my family and i know, amongst others that he had another child after my little sister Aliana, or maybe he had it before Aliana?? either way, he cheated on my mother and that really sucks… MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! wow- do i sound like “debbie downer” or what? not trying to be…

I love my mom, aliana, cody, michael, and my nana sullivan!! i will be missing them this christmas as it is the first one i am spending away from home. i am spending it with Samantha in Los Angeles.
yours truly,

She also wrote some shit about Brit Brit Spears being an amazing talent or something. That must be the fucking fresh “Christmas snow” talking. Or possibly the holly that somehow made its way into her bong. Wait. Can you smoke up holly or mistletoe? I should try that later. It might make this Christmas Day extra Christmas-ey.

Anyway, of course, Michael Lohan couldn’t keep his caca mouth shut! He responded in an e-mail to People. He denied everything that HoHan wrote. He also accused SamRo of writing the whole post as HoHan. Yup. Blame the lesbian! Michael Lohan blames the poor little lesbian for fucking everything! He needs to get ass fucked by an angry dyke who majored in strap-on pounding. I know a few that would volunteer for the damn.

You know, the Lohans could solve this shit with just one half-episode of Maury. Seriously, if they weren’t famous, they would already be on that show for some reason or another.

And I doubt White Oprah is going to release one of her epic statements. She’s probably passed out with her face in the Christmas tree stand. Hopefully, Nana kicked her head to the side so she doesn’t drown in the Christmas tree water. We won’t hear from White Oprah until at least February. The bitch will be in a drunk coma until then. It’s the holidays!

Here’s HoHan with that evil lesbian buying presents yesterday.

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