I’m sitting here sipping on some Asti like a real classy lady and catching up on all the shit I missed yesterday. I am so fucking glad I’m reading Courtney Love’s latest crazy rant while riding on an Asti bubble, because it’s so much more entertaining. Seriously, you would think I was watching a monkey washing a cat. This is some standing ovation shit!
Crack’s finest customer spent her Christmas Eve morning going off on Kim Kardassian’s brother, Rob. Court’s full rant will make your eyes cross permanently if you’re sober, so let me just sum it up for you. Basically, Court thinks Rob is a big gay hater, because he allegedly punched out her employee outside of Hyde in September and called him a fag. Here’s a just small fix from Court’s crazy party. Again, if you’re sober, sip on some Listerine or rubbing alcohol before you read this shit:
Rob Kardashian the son of the discgr3aceful Robert Kardashian who represented a cold blooded murderer and made lots and lots of money..well rob jr cold socked and punched my employee right in his face for no reason and broke his nose after my GUY was hanging out with his pal Brody Jenner one night outside hyde lounge closed, then right after yelling the words “FAGGOT FAGGOT FAGGOT!” Rob JR punched my guys in the face. My guy has 3 witnesses who saw rob jump out of the SUV and because of the fact that he works for me, a woman of power, you broke his nose and caused blood to shed, well lets fast forward shall we…the guy who works for me did not file a police report that night cause he did not need tmz’s camera’s outside this trendy nightclub to cause any more FUCKERY to what was suppose to be a birthday celebration, instead he came back to LAPD later and they told him to fold up his police report into a origami and hang it on his door.
If you’re hanging out with that douche Brody Jenner, you deserve to get fisted in the face. And I loved that she called herself a “woman of power!” It’s almost better than “businesswoman.”
Court goes on to invite Rob to a night of dancing with homos, playing with make-up and ending with a little butt fuck fun with a plantain. Court is describing my New Year’s evening to a fucking T. Well, except for the plantain part. I like my plantains fried, not mashed.
Kim, being the mega famewhore that she is, jumped right on this mess and responded to Court’s shit on her own website. Kim wrote, “This is TOTALLY FALSE! A lot of what she wrote doesn’t even make much sense and doesn’t follow a clear train of thought… At one point she says Brody was there too and that someone yelled discriminatory expletives against gay people, but I honestly can’t figure out who she is accusing because her writing is so bad.”
Kim needs to drink a full bottle of Asti and read that shit again, because I clapped at the end. I would love to watch Kim read Courtney’s blog. You know her head almost popped off. Bitch probably couldn’t complete the Dick and Jane books, because that shit was too complex for her, so Court’s rant probably made her hair sweat.
I’m totally on Team Crazy, because if you get on her good side, she might let you pick something out of her “goody bag.”