Clay Gayken was a giddy little gay yesterday, because he got his own caricature at Sardi’s! At least, they tell me that’s a caricature of Gayken, but the two bitches before me look nothing alike. On the left, we have a middle-aged gayelle whose eyebrows were electrocuted off during a tragic vibrator accident.
On the right, we have a girly-looking dude that I might bump tongues with in a dark club if I had too many Long Island Iced Teas. Whoever drew that shit did Gayken a huge favor. Gayken should give that bitch a taint slap. Although, I don’t think any taint would appreciate getting slapped by Gayken.
I mean, I almost used my impeccable Photoshop skills to give him some gorgeous chola eyebrows like I did with Kellie Pickler, but it’s not even worth the 10-seconds it takes me to whip that shit up. Not even a cholita makeover can save Gayken!
Why did his eyebrows go away?! Could they not handle the Gayken? They were probably fucking scared of the Claymates craziness.