Two From Sasha Fierce (Or Whoever The Fuck She Is In These Videos)

December 23, 2008 / Posted by:

Sasha Fierce has two new videos for the gays to shake their ass lips on YouTube to. Two. Double the mess. You know, if Beyonce wasn’t an OMGBIGGESTSTARINDAWORLD, she would be one of those YouTube bitches who put out a video every damn twenty seconds, because “they have so much to give the world.”

Beyonce’s first new video is for Diva. It’s just Beyonce trying to be a vanguard and true artist. Everything you would expect from her ego. I almost hit the little X in the corner after the first 5 seconds, because of those fugly ass cat toy sunglasses. Bitch needs to stop this shit and go wash a few dirty cars with those things. The rest of the video looks like an America’s Next Top Model photo shoot. Actually, I think the scene of Sasha Fierce with the mannequins was inspired by Johanna’s project on Stylista.

And Sasha Fierce made it oh-so-easy for the glittery gays of YouTube to show her up with this shit. Right now, they are furiously learning the fucking moves to film this shit in their mommy’s garage using flashlights and their memaw’s old cataract sunglasses with tinsel on the front.

Basically, Basement Baby isn’t impressed with this video.

Now on to this Halo shit. I want to fuck my ears with a used dildo for liking this song, but I do! I was hoping Sasha’s video for this would involve her painted in gold dancing above Jesus’ head, but unfortunately she didn’t go that route. Instead she decided to copy scenes from A Chorus Line, Flashdance, Shall We Dance? and every other damn dance movie. Skip this one unless your eyeballs haven’t done their morning “rolling” exercises yet.

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