Suri Cruise Is Famous

December 23, 2008 / Posted by:

Suri Cruise is really famous. Even more famous than her raggedy ass parents. She has the fan mail to prove it! Creepy? Yes.

Star Magazine says that the world famous superstar known as Suri gets around 100 pieces of fan mail a day from around the planet earth. If the Postal Service delivered shit from other planets, she’d probably get alien lovers from around the damn universe writing her.

A source tells Star, “She’s even more popular than her superfamous parents. She has such a huge following that I’m surprised there isn’t a Web site dedicated to her yet.

Apparently, most of the dumb dumbs writing Suri want to know where she gets her clothes. Do these crazies realize that she can’t read? Suri probably will never learn how to read. All she has to do is wear hot clothes, flip off the paps and get carried around. Why bother learning how to read, write or walk?

I don’t even want to know what the other letters say. That other shit probably has the PedoBear stamp of approval on it.

Tommy Girl definitely queefs over all the fan mail Suri gets. He probably replies to every single one with an autographed picture of Suri. Gross. Suri is seriously effed. She is better off running away and joining the circus.

Below is the world’s most famous celebrity being carried by her bitch in NYC last night and this morning.

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