UGH: Christmas Is On Thursday

December 22, 2008 / Posted by:

These pictures of Xtina and Bat Boy Christmas shopping yesterday reminds me of a couple of things. First of all, don’t ever get your haircut like this or you’ll look like a rockabilly chola on the short bus. Also, Christmas is basically fucking here and I haven’t bought shit! Eff the season of giving!

This past weekend I wasted so many hours trying to buy shit for people, but I suffer from this disease called extreme selfishness, so it’s hard for me to purchase crap for others. I could have bought myself a ton of good shit, but I had to keep reminding myself about the task at hand. I basically gave up and decided to drink a few peppermintinis instead.

This is what’s going to happen. Come Christmas day, my family will get a ton of gift bags (who wraps anymore?) with pictures of different items in them. I did that shit last year. For example: my sister will open a bag and pull out a picture of the Sex and the City box set with an attached note that says “It’s coming!!!” One year I even made a fake coupon with the words “Valid for a $40 gift certificate to American Apparel” on it. My selfish lazy ass couldn’t even go out and buy a stupid fucking gift certificate! I’m the worst of the worst.

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