Jacko Is Sicko

December 22, 2008 / Posted by:

We already know he’s a little sick in the head (aren’t we all), but author Ian Halperin also claims Jacko is sick in the body and may be going blind! Escandalo with an exclamation point!

Ian, who just finished writing a tell-all about Jacko, told InTouch (via Fox News) that Jacko is suffering from a possibly fatal lung disease called Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency. Ian also says Jacko has emphysema and gastrointestinal bleeding. Woe is Jacko! He’s already suffering from an awful disorder called TurningIntoTeriHatcher-itis.

According to Ian, Jacko is pretty much blind in one eye and can barely speak words. Ian went on to say, He needs a lung transplant but may be too weak to go through with it … [But] it’s the [gastrointestinal] bleeding that is the most problematic part. It could kill him.

So let’s just recap all that. Jacko can’t breathe, can’t speak, is going blind and is turning transparent! This is probably just an excuse for him to get breast implants to “help him breathe,” get collagen in his lips to “help him speak again” and get blue eyes installed so “he can see again.” It’s the final steps in finally becoming the beautiful white woman of his dreams!

In all seriousness, if this shit is true, then this might be the reason he wears all those fancy masks. I thought it was to keep his silly puddy nose from falling off.

Jacko’s fight is strong and funky and, so I’m sure he’ll pull through all this shit….if it is true.

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