It’s Pete The Purple Squirrel!!

December 22, 2008 / Posted by:

Naw, you aren’t having an acid flashback. This squirrel is actually purple and his name is Pete. Pete the purple squirrel has become a local celebrity at the Meoncross School in Stubbington, Hampshire since he made his first appearance a little while ago. The teachers and students have gotten somewhat close to Pete to see how he got his purpley coat. One teacher said it doesn’t look like it’s paint, because Pete’s entire coat is purple. It’s not just in patches.

The Daily Mail got the advice of some animal expert. TV wildlife host Chris Packham said Pete has been hanging out in a building where old ink cartridges are kept. Because of this, he thinks Pete probably chewed on some purple cartridges and then licked himself with it.

Chris said, “Squirrels will chew anything even if it’s obviously inedible. He is unlikely to have fallen into paint because that would probably have killed him. I imagine he’ll return to his normal grey by spring when he moults.

What the hell kind of stupid reason is that? There has to be a better explanation on why Pete looks like one of Grimace’s beady beads. Maybe he fell into my abuelita’s hair dye? Or maybe he was in Los Angeles partying with Brit Brit. I’m sure too much PURPLE DRANK will fucking turn your ass purple. Wait. When did Robert Pattinson cut down his magical forest? I think I may have seen a purple squirrel bouncing around in there once or twice….

Whatever the reason is for Pete’s purple coat, he’s still magically precious. I’m sure he shits blueberries and pisses grape soda pop.

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