Wonky McValtrex was burglarized last night after some bitches opened her unlocked front door and waltzed right in without a problem. Yeah, her front door is always unlocked and easy to get into.
The L.A. Times says that the burglary went down sometime this morning at Wonky’s Hollywood Hills herp nest when she wasn’t home. The burglars stole $2 million worth of her fugly shit including jewelry and other stuff.
The LAPD are at Wonky’s house today looking at footage from the security tapes and talking to whores.
The burglars are lucky Wonky wasn’t home at the time, because she would’ve jumped on their peens and fucked them to death with her toxic vagina. They are no match for the dick bandit.
And it’s probably easy for the LAPD to find out who did it. They just have to check all the free clinics today for any dudes asking for a Valtrex prescription, because you know her jewelry is covered with her skank jelly. Especially, her diamond covered puss beads.