I’m having a slow start this morning, because I’m sort of still drunk from last night’s festivities. I tried to sleep it off, but that really didn’t work, so I’m just going to roll with it. It’s also a fitting that I’m still wasted, because Michelle Duggar’s tortured uterus could probably use a drink or fifty this morning.
Michelle Duggar and Jim Bob (HA!) Duggar welcomed their 18th child to the world yesterday in Rogers, Arkansas. Unfortunately, the new Duggar didn’t come cartwheeling out of Michelle’s airport hanger vagina, because a C-section was involved. Michelle’s raggedy vagina probably went on strike and refused to be part of this fuckery anymore. And I think that if she pushed out another kid, she would turn inside out.
The 18th Duggar spawn is a girl they named Jordyn-Grace Makiya . The rest of their ten million kids’ names all begin with J and range from 17 months to 20 years old. Their names are: John-David, Jana, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, Jeremiah, Jedidiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah Jennifer, Joshua and now Jordyn. The letter J should really sue their asses for abuse. And I’m assuming they named their daughter Jordyn after Katie Price, of course. She’s a real role model to them.
The birth of Jordyn will be featured on the Duggars’ TLC reality show 17 Kids & Counting. That show is every shade of creepy. It really feels like I’m watching some kind of cult orientation video. Although, I was impressed when I watched the girls make their own laundry detergent for the family. They are so organized and shit. If they put all their skills together as a family, they could probably get a successful meth lab going in there.
Hopefully, Michelle will let her lady parts rest for a while. What am I saying? She’s probably already knocked up. Bitch is like a damn cat!