Daddy Spears, How Could You?!

December 18, 2008 / Posted by:

It might have been a while since Brit Brit has done this whole dating thing and Daddy Spears probably doesn’t know the rules, so I think we all need to take them into the back to teach them the rules. Everyone, except for Brit and Daddy Spears obviously, know that the #1 rule of dating is: don’t eff with Wonky McValtrex’s infected victims! They should teach this in schools. It’s that important!

That is why Brit Brit has no business bumping anything with Benji Madden. According to InTouch (via PopCrunch), Daddy Spears made a list of all possible dudes his daughter should date. The list included Benji, Chace Crawford, Jesse Metcalfe and Michael Phelps. Daddy sure can pick ’em. A used twatty rag, a power bottom, a drunktard with boobies and the son of Neptune whose mommy would chop his dolphin peen off if he tried to knock it with Brit.

The source said that Brit’s manager, Larry Rudolph, made some calls and Benji seemed the most interested. After a few dates with Benji, Brit Brit likes him. The source said, “They’ve been on a few dates. They met once at The Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills for dinner in a hotel suite. She appears to like Benji a lot, and he seems to really like her.”

Larry plans to use the new barfmance to promote Brit’s album and tour.

If this fuckery is true then Daddy Spears needs to pay a visit to Brit’s old stopping grounds: the loony bin! I knew there was something off about that man when I watched him make cheese grits using Velveeta instead of Cheetos.

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