My personal list on how to capture Anderson Cooper’s heart has gotten longer. I already have to befriend Lisa Ling, become one with the sharks and now I have to find a way to turn French. You see, Page Six published this today:
Sightings… ANDERSON Cooper in black jeans and black leather jacket shopping for cashmere sweaters at Barneys Co-op with a young Frenchman.
How the fuck am I going to turn French? Eat more French toast and French fries? Dab a little spray cheese under my peen head? Sorry! The last French dude I got sexy with had a bad case of cheese dick. The kind of cheese dick that could put Kraft out of business. Or maybe he was Belgian? Or Canadian? Or from Minnesota? I don’t know. We didn’t exactly have a meaningful conversation about his birth country.
Wait. Mah Boo seems to love cashmere too. Maybe if I replace my skin with cashmere, he’ll finally love me. He must love me! Ugh. I need to go take my meds now and cuddle with my silver plushie cat (I couldn’t find a fox).